The Lost Head of Damasceno Monteiro

Dear me,

Last weeks have been very tough. While during the last months I had time to relax, think and enjoy the very little things of my very complicated life, now I feel tired and confused.

Few months before everything seemed clear.

I know that my mind is tired because my body is tired. This life of mine, this everyday running to reach everyplace where I NEED to do things…school, and then university, and then the supermarket or the gym.All of this makes me feel sick.

I know it’s important not to give up. Not now.But feelings of depression are just behind the corner.

I feel scared. Deadly scared.

And I do mistakes. Stupid mistakes. I would like to stop it and instead I do worse.

That guy is the most interesting person I met in the last couple of years. And I made all my best to scare him.

Not easy to recover. Not at all. I would like to. But I don’t have a fucking idea of how to rearrange the things.

In a way this makes me smile. Of myself of course. Sometimes I behave like a baby.

Goodnight all.